The Holy Cage

If you’ve read Chaos (un)Controlled, you encountered tidbits of Rixa’s dark, arson-laced poetry during church. Uniquely written specifically for this novel? Nope. But the creative, rage-driven thoughts of an actual teenager forced to worship? Absolutely. I wrote The Holy Cage myself years ago and performed it as spoken word, when I was feeling very much like Rixa. I pulled excerpts from it because it was incredibly fitting considering the storyline. You can see the full original version in its entirety below:

I call it a cage.
Enclosed within those “spiritual” bars that consume me with rage.
Yes, I believe I am of age to lash out at the “holy hands”
Of my family that chain me with bands…
I am…forced…
To carry that torch, that as soon as I leave my house, I douse.
Wicked fantasies of flames, gripping at the lush carpet in exchange for my freedom.
Fire licking at the crumbling walls, the building falls.
I want to burn this place down,
while Last Supper portraits peel and blister, they’ll frown
at the demon achieving her freedom through an arson’s plough.

Wicked fantasies, of protruding my tongue to release my gum
Into the brass tray they pass.
“This is my contribution to your institution.”
This man at the pulpit will not control me,
His words do not hold me.
But they are all sold on a few scriptures riddled with holes
As he boldly shows what he thinks they mean.
They are lost in dreams that are not their own; they clutch at symbols and make them more.
The door to this building is just a door.
Polished wood and crushed velvet drapes, life-sized crucifix,
I need to escape.

I am constantly being nudged awake.
I have no respect
for an institution that forces people to come to its beckon.
That uses fear to control its prey,
Fear of a fate in a fiery pit if you don’t do it this way.

Many walk through that door that is only a door,
Walk back out no different than before.
Sanctification on only one day, the rest reserved for heathen play.
My spiritual stock is not derived from an edifice;
That path, is in my heart, and in pious actions
Not in concrete slabs with electrical wiring that fall apart
where the glue to hold is that so called offering that comes from your heart.
“Do you feel his presence? Well all you have to do is give us presents.”
In the form of tithes.
My spiritual connection resides in myself
While a minister, administers correction
when he may need the most help himself.
My spiritual faith does not rely on a guy in maroon robes
Assumed to be holy cause he told us so.
Breathing phrases from the leather-bound book in his hands,
He is no different from us,
Yet we lift him up and continue to pay his price like he’s Jesus Christ.
But they’ll continue to misplace their spiritual following in a mistaken faith.
Clung to as a savior, I call it a curse.
But they call it…church.

Lurker For Life

I think Goodreads is an amazing site, but I don’t participate in the forums.

Because mods.

I used to love forums until they became heavily trafficked by moderators. Which is fine, but they can be mean and power-hungry and I’m sensitive and having to read an introductory post on how to participate and what is and isn’t allowed in an online forum kind of takes the “casual-ness” out of the whole thing. The honor code doesn’t exist anymore for popular forums. I suppose there’s always 4chan, but as far as I know, there’s no honor there.

I used to participate in the Smashboards forums, but the mods were notoriously strict, and let’s face it; the internet has become way more jerkier since the millennium. The know-it-alls, snooty knowledge-slingers and trolls far outnumber the genuine people there just to share information and help others out. It’s just not as fun as the 90s.

So I lurk.

Just last week, a Facebook group I was a member of called out all the lurkers for not being more active in the group, and said maybe the group wasn’t for us. A sweet girl tried to stand up for us introverts, bless her, addressing our ninja mentality of striking when the time is right. But the group leader didn’t seem to approve.

So I left.

#LurkerNation. Unite!

(The ninja code of honor is strong.)

~Tael

In Close Quarters

A couple of years ago, I wrote a subway poem in a tweet that I never forgot:

All this space…

Why are you so close to me?

Why are you so close to me?

Whyareyousoclosetome?

Whyareourarmstouching?

I visualized it making it to one of the Poetry In Motion billboards on the train, so that riders who were unknowingly committing this crime would see it, magically be enlightened, and correct the offending behavior. Ahh, those New York dreams…

~Tael